


Patching It All Together

by returnbydeath



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Gluttony IF continuation, Hallucinations, Shaula Being Shaula, arc 6 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:56:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28077330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/returnbydeath/pseuds/returnbydeath
Summary: Patching together, patching together, continuing to form its shape.Patching together, patching together, continuing to mould its shape.Patching together, patching together, continuing to fill in the colours.Patching together, patching together, finally bringing himself towards completion-(ARC 6 SPOILERS, SPOILERS FOR THE TSUGIHAGU/GLUTTONY IF STORY)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 55





	Patching It All Together

“Master, master, where are we off to next?”

The woman that didn’t care all very much about showing off her feminine features leaned forward on her seat, smiling boisterously. Her name was Shaula - well, of course it was Shaula. It was a woman he had been with for a relatively long time now, alongside everybody else-

“Subaru, Subaru, where are we off to next?”

Mirroring the voice, almost as if replacing it, a voice chimed. A voice laden with the pleasant ring of silver bells and the happiness of long-lost love. She smiled, yet he could not properly look in her eyes, as close as she was.

“Emilia-tan! You know, if you look in my eyes like that, I’m going to seriously fall in love with you!” Subaru brushed his fingers across his face, trying to cover up the emerging flush on his cheeks, dimpled from smiling.

“Hmm? But I thought, that... you were reaaally already,” Hesitating for a minute, she reached a realisation. “Hmf! Come on, you know not to tease me like that, Subaru!” Puffing her cheeks up, she put her hands on her hips and leaned her face further next to his, causing herself to redden and widen her eyes.

Emilia was like a painting, coloured in by the most fantastic watercolour artists. Every moment she makes picturesque and worthy of photographing. Her eyes twinkled like the stars above that Subaru was so familiar with and her pale skin and hair shimmered in the sunlight, a sight for sore eyes.

Suddenly stopping, her facial expression held in place as she stared at Subaru with a blank look, as if she was insulting him. Nothing else had stopped - just the smile that Emilia had given to Subaru faded and so did she, allowing Subaru to take a breath, collecting himself and thinking about what he could have done to stop her from perishing.

They had stopped, but time-

“Hmmmmmm, master’s neglecting me again. Come on, heave-ho! Heave-ho, master!” Vigorously shaking her arms on to Subaru’s bony shoulders, Shaula let a carefree smile float across her face as Subaru snapped back to reality, leaving behind the world he wished would never disappear as Shaula interjected herself into his reality. Feebly looking downward, Subaru had nothing to say back, disappointed.

Anxiety plagued Shaula’s face, contorted in worry, in fear of upsetting Subaru. Her exclamation of speech had wiped away Emilia, just when she had smiled too. Subaru couldn’t say the same for Shaula, that she was a sight for sore eyes. Though no one could compete with Emilia, that’s what Natsuki Subaru thought.

“Shaula,” Her face turned towards his in seriousness for a moment because of the harsh tone of his voice. “We need to head back to the Pleiades Watchtower. I’ve finally got everything - everyone, who remembers me - no, Natsuki Subaru...”

Shaula put her finger on her lip. “Alrrrrright, master! One Pleiades Watchtower, coming right up!” Shaula let a carefree smile flash across her face, and honestly, Subaru wouldn’t have it any other way.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

While they were walking through the sand, Subaru stared down at his feet and exhaled every time they brushed across the soft sand, wishing to hear voices that he had forgotten even existed in the actual world. He stared at his hand, wondering why, why he currently inhabited the body that would belong to the superhero of “Natsuki Subaru”, that everyone else would be so happy with.

“Hmmm~? Master, are you thinking about how you’re going to propose to Shaula in the future?” Shaula put a finger on her lip, letting her breasts stick out like a sore thumb which Subaru turned his head down dejectedly at.

Subaru sighed, “Of course not. You’re no way near as good as Emilia-tan, anyway...” He whispered the last part, ensuring Shaula could not hear his quieted voice, however, she heard anyway, and to Subaru’s dismay, she of course acknowledged it.

“Come onnn, that’s not fair, masterrrr.. Shaula wants to be the woman of your dreams, too!” Tugging on Subaru’s green jacket, Shaula leaned in close, gripping him tightly.

Subaru swiftly tried to shake her off, leading to a tugging match on Subaru’s arm between the two of them. “You’re way too strong for a girl your age!”

“Aww, what a lovely compliment, master! Shaula is flattered!” Shaula exclaimed, beam drifting across her face excitedly as she finally pulled away her arms and pushed her hands against her face in embarrassment, “Is this a marriage proposal?”

“How do you even get that from this?!” Subaru squealed out, grabbing on to his numb upper arm from Shaula’s tight grip.

Subaru made a disinterested grunt as Shaula butted in, which Shaula mostly ignored and continued to physically, verbally and emotionally harass him.

“Master, master, can Shaula have a piggyback for being amazing?”

“No.”

“Huuuuh?! What about a compliment? Compliment Shaula for being better than Google!”

“No.”

“Master, what about if you allow me to have children with master one day? I can pump out as many children as there is on a baseball team, you know?”

“Please don’t put that image in my head! Plus, you’ve said that before... Don’t you learn new stuff?” Subaru turned towards Shaula, sort of interested in this sort of conversation whilst he wasn’t out of it. “Or is it all from your master?”

“Yuuup! Allll the stuff Shaula says is learnt right from master! Though, it’s probably outdated, master did get his information from 400 years ago, I guess.” Shaula let out a ‘hmm’, causing Subaru to droop his shoulders in sadness.

“I hope that’s not implying your master said he was gonna impregnate you with enough kids to fill up a baseball team...” Subaru shook his head at the thought, a little disgusted. Flugel really didn’t seem like a nice guy, he personally thought. He had left Shaula for 400 years to go do something Subaru had no idea about - and she still had hope that he’d come back. Ever since he had read Beatrice’s Book of the Dead, he had wondered about their similarities. Both had been waiting for a guy to come and rescue them from solitude, yet this was a real person instead a fake person Beatrice was waiting for.

“Maybe that makes it worse?”

Putting her hands on her hips, Shaula began once again to come into close proximity with Subaru, intimate as always. “Hmmmm? What is master talking to himself about that Shaula doesn’t know? Come onn, I can’t read your mind, you know!” Shaula hit her fist into her palm, cogs turning in her airheaded brain. “Ah, Shaula knows! You’re thinking about the wedding, aren’t you? Mhm, that’s ittt! Now, you can praise Shaula!” Genuinely awaiting praise, Shaula wrapped her arms around Subaru, making it hard to walk for the both of them. He simply sighed.

Promptly ignoring her comments, Subaru pointed to the Pleiades Watchtower. It was surrounded by familiar Mabeasts such as the Gabaou and the Courtesan Bear, quickly shot down by Shaula’s Hell’s Snipe. No matter how many times Subaru has seen it, it never cannot amaze him. The pinpoint accuracy and the blinding light are something he knew “Natsuki Subaru” had died to before.

“Th’t naked girl’s power’s somethin’ to really be amazed at, huh? No matter how many times my amazin’ self’s seen it, ‘s still pretty cool, an’ pretty hard to dodge.” Crossing his arms, a boy, too young to be there, stood next to Subaru as they walked.

“It is, huh..?”

“...I’d say, it’s insurmountable, is it not? Natsuki-san, what’s your opinion?” A grey-haired merchant stood next to the younger boy, grey cape draped over his shoulders with a faint smile on his face as he looked over to Subaru.

“It’s useful.”

“Are you talking about Shaula’s Hell’s Snipe?! Wow, wowie, now, please praise Shaula for having such a cool ability, master!” Shaula grinned, air headed nature bursting through expression on her face. “I love youuu, master!”

“Hm? I see. I don’t love you.”

“Eeeeh?! Master’s so meann!” Squealing, her excited nature quickly deflated with the burst of her bubble.

Subaru decided to finally ask something which had been dwelling in him for a while about Shaula. Not about her peculiar appearance or lack of social skills but, instead-

“Shaula, why do you decide to stick with me if I don’t reciprocate your feelings? Is it because of “Natsuki Subaru”? Surely, he’d be the one to..." Trailing off, trying to gather his thoughts, Subaru paused.

“No, that’s not it.” Shaula made a large X with her arms crossing together, coming closer to reaching the home she had become used to these past 400 years.

“It’s because I really love master, to the depths of Shaula’s heart, even if master believes he’s someone he’s not and has some cogs he needs to turn in his head.” Shaula smiled at Subaru, him feeling a surge in his heart that he hadn’t felt until this point.

But he wasn’t Natsuki Subaru, or he wasn’t the superhero that stayed with her 400 years ago at all. He was a fraud, a disgusting phony who should die and burn in Hell for not being the one Shaula wishes for him to be. He should die for not being able to be the one who can save everyone, “Natsuki Subaru”, why did you pass this role down to regular old Subaru?

“...I,” Subaru placed his quivering hands on his lips, calming himself down. “I see.”

Continuing to walk in silence towards Pleiades Watchtower, the two knew what had to happen.

※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※

Taygeta was a rather miserable floor at this state in time, though not in appearance. Books were neatly pressed against the shelves, though all of them were in order, and it was obvious it had been made that way by someone. It’s forbidden to damage the tower, and Subaru was petrified of his loop resetting because of it, when he hadn’t learned everything about everyone before resetting and coming back to them.

“Well, Shaula,” Subaru said emptily, sweeping past a few of the shelves on the lower parts of the floor, frowning slightly. “I’m so close to getting “Natsuki Subaru” back, all I need now is your co-operation. Then, I can finally..."

Shaula simply smiled.

“I can finally get “Natsuki Subaru” back."

“That’s right. And Shaula’s body is here for your taking, master!”

“Could you at least try to take this a little more seriously? I’m feeling pretty awful right now.” Subaru sighed at Shaula’s comment. Of course, she had no value for her own life. She’d take it all away if she was instructed to, and Subaru thought that was disgustingly sad, that she had been taught to do that by someone.

Shaula, confused, approached her master with a frown. “Hmm? But Shaula follows master’s every order, you see? So this kind of thing isn’t a problem for me.”

“You’re right, I’ve come this far, anyway. I can’t back out now, I can meet you in the next life, anyways...” Muttering things only he himself understood, the fraud Subaru shivered in excitement of finally finishing the job he set out to do so long ago. Reading all these books, they will all work in the next try, he thought. He’ll finally fully understand and become that “Natsuki Subaru” that everyone adored and loved so very much.

So,

He gripped the sharpened knife that he had been saving for so long in his green pocket, not wanting Shaula to go out in a bad way like he did to Meili. Choking was probably the worst method “Natsuki Subaru” could have chosen, but it wasn’t his fault.

Shaula gradually approached closer until she stopped right in front of him. “Alright! I’m all ready, you know! Shaula has been preparing for this super romantic ever I was born, master! Me and you, all alone, after we’ve done everything we need to!”

“This is actually something really gruesome that I’d rather not do to be honest, but I’ll see you later, anyway, Shaula.”

Having no respect for Shaula’s life as he became sure and solidified in his mind that he was going to see her again, his hands finally stopped shaking. Shaula had never been shaking, as she knew that this was his genuine desire. Shaula truly had no care in the world. He wished he could be the same-

So, he plunged the knife forwards, and time seemed to stop right before it reached her chest.

“You know, from the very start, master’s never been a superhero that everyone loved. Some people really, really hated master, you know? Sometimes master did really wrong things, like accidentally hitting his head on the toilet! Sometimes he couldn’t save Shaula, so she had to look after herself. And that guy that sits on Electra, the one that Shaula really hates? Sometimes he’d get furious at master too, like purposely hitting his head on the toilet! But Shaula could tell, from all those times, that those people around master really valued him as he was! Because master wasn’t a superhero, he was a person, just like Shaula! And that’s why I love master.”

Shaula’s voice pierced his chest. Tears ran down his face as the knife hit her chest, drawing blood quickly as it pushed through her heart, gradually pushing away her life, transcript into a speechless book in solitude.

““Natsuki Subaru”... wasn’t a superhero?”

Shaula’s body fell backwards, the morbid crunch of her bones resounding as her body hit the floor, blood spilling out on the hard, stone floor.

“Shaula...”

Taking a moment for himself, Subaru hadn’t felt like this when Shaula had mercilessly taken away anyone else’s life. She had been with him for everything he had experienced, comforting him in the weirdest ways possible and exclaiming her profound love to him constantly, but he wouldn’t say it was annoying.

“Come on, onii-chan. You’re so close, you know?”

That familiar voice once more.

The one that had started it all, the one that had driven him insane from the very start.

Subaru stood, having already planned where every single person’s book would already be. And of course he knew Shaula’s position in the library as well. You could say that he was close to the caretaker, himself, at this point.

He forgot the time moving as he navigated his way through the library, recognising the cover which held Shaula’s name on it in a language he could just barely understand. He flicked unknown dust off of it, opening it hesitantly, closing his eyes, losing the consciousness that he wished he could never let go of instead of being sucked into fantasy.

Shaula truly loved Flugel, her master, whatever you wanted to refer to him as.

To another Natsuki Subaru, maybe he would have seemed like an asshole. Someone who locked her away in this tower for 400 years to never come back, eventually resulting in her half-death. That Natsuki Subaru absolutely despised him for it.

But Subaru was simply grateful for him bringing this Shaula into existence.

_“You know, from the very start, master’s never been a superhero that everyone loved. Some people really, really hated master, you know? Sometimes master did really wrong things, like accidentally hitting his head on the toilet! Sometimes he couldn’t save Shaula, so she had to look after herself. And that guy that sits on Electra, the one that Shaula really hates? Sometimes he’d get furious at master too, like purposely hitting his head on the toilet! But Shaula could tell, from all those times, that those people around master really valued him as he was! Because master wasn’t a superhero, he was a person, just like Shaula! And that’s why I love master.”_

Waking up almost immediately for him, tears flowed down his cheeks as he almost immediately grabbed his bloody knife, staring at Shaula’s body from the other side of the room with immediate sadness. She had died for little reason, his mind was telling him, but he knew he had to do it. If he died now, he could finally greet the others and be complete once he woke up. As he read the Books of the Dead of everyone around him, he picked up what routes he would take and what he would do once he got back into the Green Room. He’d find out a way to wake up Rem afterwards, and everyone would live happily ever after with “Natsuki Subaru”.

So, why was he so hesitant to kill himself? Why was he shaking so much?

“I’m, afraid. Of death.” He quivered out these words, collapsing on to his knees.

“Filthy Barusu doesn’t even remember how to end his own life properly, like he used to. Disgusting.”

“Usually, Subaru wouldn’t hesitate for us. Is he in a reaaaallly sticky situation?”

“Has Subaru... given up on us, I suppose? No, I doubt it. After all, he’s “Natsuki Subaru”, in fact."

“Natsuki-san is going to be fine. After all, he’s “Natsuki Subaru”."

“Yup! Dunno what you’re all worryin’ ‘bout. Cap’n’s gonna get th’shit all sorted out, ‘cause he’s crazy cool. That’s just “Natsuki Subaru” for yer."

“I’ve had, enough of it...” Subaru cried.

“That’s ■■■’s hero, “Natsuki Subaru”."

““Natsuki Subaru”... Just what, do these people see in you?”

The echoes of his screams filled the room as he finally found the confidence to shove the knife into his chest.

Why, just why, did he have to wake up here?

Shaula’s body lay in front of his kneeling self, a knife placed near his throat.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, everyone! Today, I've decided to rush this so I could get something out today, otherwise I'd probably be inactive for quite a while, and I'm scared of going on a hiatus for another month lol.  
> I love writing Shaula! She's such a delight, to be honest, though I felt like I was being a little repetitive with her character. I dunno, it's been quite a long time since I've read arc 6 and in fact Tsugihagu itself, so I hope I didn't mess things up too badly on the character side of things.
> 
> If you notice some words or phrases messed up, please feel free to tell me and I'll correct it!


End file.
